What do you say?

We have been working on teaching our kids to have good manners (please, thank you, may I have more please, etc.). The other day Cade had the cable remote in his hand the other day and was pushing buttons, thereby changing the channel of the TV. Matt told Cade, "Give the remote to Mommy" and I held out my hand. Cade held the remote away from me and said, "What do you SAYYYYYYYYY?" in the sing-songy voice that sounded strikingly similar to my own voice. "Thank you Cade" I said, laughing. It is funny yet a bit eerie when I hear my own words, inflection of voice, and gestures mimicked in my children. It reminds me that they are constantly watching and learning from my own actions and words, for better or worse. I need to constantly remember that their little souls are so impressionable. Thank you Cade for my reminder, and God please forgive me when I forget.

Big step for Cole

I am THRILLED to announce that #2 is officially wearing big-boy underwear all the time! He is so proud of himself, and we are hoping that the other two will be influenced to do the same. On a selfish note, I have had three children in diapers for almost three years, and I'm looking forward to decreasing the diaper changing task. :)

He is getting self conscious about his appearance now and stands in front of a mirror with a comb trying to get his hair to stand up just right. He likes the "crazy hair" look (the towel dried, sticking out everywhere look) and gets disappointed when his hair dries and lays flat. It is so cute!

Way to go my big boy #2-Bolie!

Our little reader

About nine months ago, the preschool director at Northland met with me to discuss #1's behavior at school. She said he was very bright but had problems transitioning from one activity to the other and preferred to play by himself. She mentioned several possibilities ranging from ADHD to Autism to a normal phase he will grow out of. At the time, I had no idea what a journey that would take us on. We had him screened by Spring ISD, and the initial conclusion was that he was perfectly normal. He was affectionate and didn't shy away from direct eye contact. However, one of the evaluators pushed to have him evaluated further by observing him at school. After the observation and doing a thorough evaluation, the conclusion was that #1 has a mild form of autism called PDD-NOS (pervasive developmental disorder - not otherwise specified) which is basically a Miscellaneous category for all Autistic kids who do not fit a certain type of Autism, or possibly another form of autism called Aspergers. Being so young, it was difficult to distinguish which one he had because it required more evaluation of his verbal skills, and he was not talking much at the time.

Matt and I knew nothing about either or these so we tried to read about it, and to be honest the more I read the more it scared the heck out of me. I was in a weird place - I didn't want to attend group meetings because I didn't want to have to belong to a Special Needs Parents group - that is a group no one really wants to have to belong to. I went through a period of mourning, not that he was gone, but because of all of the things I thought he might never be able to do because of this condition. Would he ever be able to have friends? Go on a date? Get married? Have a steady job? Have children? I cried every day for a long time for the "someday" dreams for him that he would never experience.

My discipline methods did not seem to work at all for him, and I felt like a total failure as a parent. I tried to recall what might have caused it. Perhaps it was because he was born three months premature, but then again so was his twin brother #2 and he was not autistic. Perhaps it was the vaccinations, but once again #2 did not develop autism. The only think I could think of was that the steriod shots we had to give #1 twice daily during the period he had siezures somehow caused it. I still don't know why he has this condition, and I will always wonder.

#1 is now in a special program called PPCD at Reynolds Elementary in the morning (he rides a bus to Northland in the afternoons), and has made great strides since he has been there. I have learned a great deal about ways to help him be successful and to learn the social skills and behaviors that most kids pick up naturally. He responds best to visual cues rather than verbal ones, and he is learning more every day. He does not run away from me in parking lots or throw major tantrums quite as much and overall seems to have a calmer spirit about him. His issues at school now are staying quiet and still during nap time at school, paying attention during circle time, and outside of school his biggest challenge is getting a haircut (he still goes BALLISTIC). His PPCD teachers are confident that Cade will overcome his challenges and will be able to assimilate into a normal classroom setting for elementary school.

Although only three years old, #1 has learned to read. He reads billboards, books, canned goods, anything. He can't seem to get enough of it. Since he has learned to read, his verbal skills have increased tremendously, and he is now putting together complex sentences, rather than the "more milk please" short phrases he had been using. It dawned on me last night that the reading might have been the visual cues he needed to learn to speak.

I know God has a wonderful plan for Cade's life. It may not be the traditional path that I had once expected, but he has a purpose and is a blessing to those who know him. His handsome eyes, quick smile, affectionate cuddling, and tender heart are so sweet. God didn't give me damaged goods, he just put them in a different package than what I was expecting. I continuously pray that God would guide me through the rocky times so that when I look back I will see His pefect plan unfold.

Random thoughts

Where did February go? I feel like time has been put on fast-forward speed and I have a hard time believing it is March already.

Like many of my New Year's Resolutions, my resolution to update my blog regularly has already been broken, although I still have good intentions to continue.

Throughout each day, when one of my boys says something funny, or an incident occurs, I think to myself, "I need to put that in my blog." However, when I sit down at the computer, my mind goes blank.

Since Wednesday little Riley has been sick sick sick. He is usually so energetic and sweet, but he has been battling a mean stomach virus and high fever, in addition to a possible slight case of pneumonia. I can see in his eyes that he doesn't feel well at all. I've been sleeping on the floor beside his bed to help him with his middle-of-the-night vomiting and fever, and am feeling tired after 3 days.

I called my mom to ask her to come help with the other boys because I am trying to prevent them from getting sick. Thank goodness she is coming tomorrow! I don't know what I'd do without my precious mom - she's always been there for me and willing to help. It makes me wonder how many sleepless nights she spent with me when I was sick as a child.

Anyway, enough of my rambling. I'm off to bed...or rather floor.

How our story began...

Matt and I met on a blind date orchestrated by my brother-in-law, David Nelson, back in the summer of 2000. Matt and David were friends from college and Matt had just moved back to Houston from Dallas to coach with David at Westfield High School. I was living in an apartment with my friend Robyn and working at KPMG doing audit work and studying at night for the CPA exam.

When David called to see if I would be interested in going on a blind date with a friend of his, I thought, why not? Little did I know it would change the course of events in my life!

The day of the blind date, I was recovering from a cold and had completely lost my voice, so I could barely croak out "hello" when he arrived to pick me up. He was tan with a broad chest and had beautiful blue eyes.

He opened the door to his Chevy Blazer and let me in. We went to Dave & Busters to eat and play games. We had a great time and he made me feel comfortable, despite my croaky voice, and I noticed his good manners and respect he gave me. It was like a breath of fresh air.

He called to ask if I wanted to go out again and I said yes. I accompanied him to his cousin's wedding, where I met the entire family, with the exception of his mother who was not able to attend. It was obvious to me how much he valued family and placed a high priority on spending time with family.

On our third date, we went fishing at the Register's lake, and went out with friends in Houston until late that night. As they were leaving our apartment, I mentioned to him that I planned to go to church the next morning, and they were welcome to come if they wanted. I didn't really expect him to show up at church the next morning, but he did! He and his friend came, and I was impressed! It showed me that his faith was important to him.

Three weeks after we met, I was sent overseas to work in Belgium for a month. During that time, we talked every day and grew even closer despite the distance and time zone differences. It was in Belgium that I realized he was the "one."

We continued to date for another year, and he proposed to me on Good Friday in 2002, on our way to the Shell Houston Open (the last year the tournament was held in the Woodlands). We ate lunch at Landry's and had parked along Grogan's Mill. We were walking in the trails heading towards the tournament when he said, "Hey, I've got something for you." When I turned around, he held up the ring, and the rest was history...

Silent Night

Tonight on the way home from school, #2 serenaded me by singing "Silent Night." He was so proud when he finished and had a big smile on his face and twinkle in his eye. It was one of those moments where I wished time could stop and I could just cuddle him and give him a kiss. However, that is not the ideal situation when I'm driving in traffic on 1960, so I had to settle for seeing a glimpse of his sweet face in the rearview mirror.

#2 has such an independent spirit and is so smart and caring. I see his leadership qualities already, even though he is only three years old. He is the "boss" of the boys, and has no qualms about telling the others what to do or not do. Matt and I call him "El Jefe." He has even taken to threatening spankings if his brothers are not doing as he directs. I always remind him that he is not the mommy or daddy and cannot spank his brothers, but the hard thing about it is that he is usually right on track about what he is telling them to do! For example, when riding in the car, #2 will admonish #3, "We don't suck our thumbs. Take your thumb out." If #3 does not comply, he threatens, "#3, I'm going to give you a spanking. Take your thumb out now!" Matt and I crack up about it in the front for a few seconds before we correct him, and also ask #3 to remove his thumb yet again.

It has been said that your greatest strength is also your greatest weakness. One downside to his independent spirit is that he contradicts EVERYTHING, just for the sake of contradicting. We tend to butt heads about the smallest things, from which shirt to wear to whether I should have turned left instead of right (even if the place we are headed is to the right). I guess stubbornness runs in families, because I know I have a hard head, and Matt has a hard head as well, so our boys are doomed! :)

Back to School

Now that the Christmas and New Year's holidays are over, it is time to get back into the groove of waking up early and getting out the door to school in time. While I shudder at the thought of an annoying alarm clock blaring, I have truly enjoyed the time off - it was refreshing. There were some days were I was productive and was able to cross some projects off my "to-do" list, such as painting #1 and #2's room (thanks to their coloring on the walls), but there were other days where we just chilled in our pajamas all day as a family. We hosted a few get-togethers with family members and friends, which we have been intending to do for some time, but the "busy-ness" of everyday life always seemed to preclude us from following through. Also, I was able to have the time to work on a tribute photo book for my husband's grandmother, a gift for her 90th birthday. I enjoyed visiting with her to get funny stories, find out how she and her husband met, where she grew up, her 11 brothers and sisters, etc. in addition to looking at hundreds of photos. I'm so glad I did that because now I have stories to pass along to my sons and their future families about her and her life. Below is a link to her photo book:

http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=0BcNXDRmyYsXHA

Matt worked on a DVD of photos for her that includes MANY more photos than what I included in my photo book for her, and all of the family sent him the pictures they had, so it was really a collaborative project from the whole family. He did a great job, and I think Nanny was pleased with the book and the video, which was played at her 90th birthday party on Saturday.

Overall, I feel incredibly blessed by my husband, children, family, friends, career, and coworkers. Looking back, I had no idea the journey that God has taken me on would be better than I could have ever asked or imagined.